itz really hard...
everydae itz *changin*...
either take it or leave it
im still holdin on...
keepin everything inside
bottle-up everything...
& throw all down *here*...
every nitex i keep thinkin
wadz goin on next dae...
...*dreamin of new hopes*...
...*hopin of new dae*...
...*wishin of new life*...
hmmm...itz juz my imaginationz...
...*1 big slap*...
ok back to reality...
wonder why i called *EMY*...?
...hmmmm....
it was back wen im 14...
i was damnz closed wif...
azza,aizad,ina & ailian...
i wonder how dey r ryt now...
lost contact wif dem oredy...
laz known,
azza workin @ HP,
ina...stil skewlin,
ailian...no idea,
aizad...no idea...
i hope dey r doin fine...
me & azza figurin out...
wana call wad for ourself,
...so yeah...
datz how dey call me...*emy*...
i juz lyk da name dats all...hehx
oso, *KRU* got sing tiz song
titled *EMILIA*...hehx...
& i love dat song...
i duno why i feel so damnz
...*BITCH*...laz tyme...
wen we were in sec 3...
i juz stopped mix wif dem...
& da 1 olwez cloz wif me was
...*AIN*...
maybe dat tyme i was sooo
...*SICK*...& i felt...
haiz...i duno actually how to
...*explain everythin*...
if u peepz do read tiz,
azza,ina,aizad & ailian...
...im sooo *sorry*...
i neva meant to...
juz leave from u all...
we share lotz of stuffz...
...*crapnezz*...
...*happinezz*...
...*sadnezz*...
...*crazinezz*...
OMG i cant believe myself
dat tyme...i was sooooo
LOLX...slackz wif my studiez
cuz we olwez...hangout & chillz...
azza, i still keep all da tapes
lolx...we recorded all those stuffz
...*under da umbrella*...
...*block 143*...
...*da playground*...
...*bus 51*...
...*B2D*...etcz...
LOLX...omg...
i can laugh til i cry...
wen listenin again...
how i wish i cud meet u guyz
...*again*...
& bring back our tymez...
but i guess itz juz a *dream*...
i noe u guyz angry wif me...
but...human do make mistakes ryt...
i was sooo sick dat tyme...
& all i wan was to be alone...
cuz i scared of my life dat tyme...
i duno how to tell u guyz...
hope 1 dae...u all wil understand...
cuz im stil da *emy* u noe b4...
keepin all great tymez
...deep inside...
...*my mind*...
washin all bad momentz
...away from...
...*my mind*...
...wish u were here...
...readin my post...
...laughin frenz...
...*eazy 2 find*...
...cryin frenz...
...*hard 2 get*...
************
listenin to:
another perfect dae - american hi-fi
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
5:41 AM
da 1st paper juz ended
i was outside exam hall
otherz went lab print stuffz
i felt so irritated...
so i went home...
damnz fuckin *BINGIT*...
"bingit giler nak mampoz"...
...*kepalehotakz*...
...*in train & buz*...
da BINGITness still there
i duno how my face lookz lyk
da bingit was uncontrollable
until i doze off to sleep
together wif my bingitness
thought da bingitness gone
as soon as i woke up
but it still wif me...
...*at home*...
yeah here im bloggin
to let out all of my
...*BINGITNESS*...
no other wordz best describe u
im totally out of wordz
these r da best vocabz
...*specially 4 YOU*...
"IT" simply suxx...
fuck "IT"...
kan ni na "IT"...
lanchao chibai "IT"...
stewpid muthafucka "IT"...
cow dung, bird shit "IT"...
u juz wasting my damnz
...*fuckin tyme*...
& wad did i get???
everything seemz to be
...*worthless*...
...*effortless*...
i wasted 4 damnz fuckin dayz
to memorize those fuckin shitz
& did da fuckin stuffz cum out???
damnz ony few stuffz came out...
..."bingit giler rabak sak aku"...
dunoe how to gif tips...
juz damnz anyhow throw all shitz
thought i memorize those stuffz
gonna aim C or B...
NOW...i dun mind if itz a D+...
YOU spoil my damnz fuckin *MOOD*
itz juz da 1st paper...&
thank GOD itz da ony "IT" paper...
i damnz hate "IT" sia...
fuck sey...
dunoe "IT" can becum lyk tiz bitch
it has wasted all of my...
...*sleeplezz nitex*...OMG...
i feel damnz fuckin wasted!!!
i hope i can pass...D+ oso D+ lah!!!
& thank GOD im on biz track
if not, can fuckin die sey...
...now...ony left MR...
...hehx...
letz juz see how it goes...
************
listenin to:
she will beloved - maroon 5
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
9:58 PM
haiz...tired sey...
im gonna break down...
feel so damn fuck'd up
lotz of stuffz need to...
...*memorize*...
havin break now...
so here im bloggin...
ony left 1 chapter &
do paz yr exam ppr...
den datz it...
...*im DONE*...
can't go in anymore
da rest...*fuck off*...
...nozie oredy sleep...
haiz...boring sey...
actually i oso pity her sey
hmmm...dunoe lah...
maybe ony we 2 malayz...
i need her...
she needs me...
thank god i haf her...
if not my life will b...
...*BORING*...
may god bless her...
bless me too...hehx...
to all peepz havin *examz*
all da best & good luck...
will be stayinup 2nite...
...hmmm...
hope therez more space
to store stuffz in my head
all i need is pple 2 understand me
izit hard???...izit difficult???
i hate olwez being as da
...*middleperson*...
plz gif me sum space...
i need 2 breathe...
juz sae it if u unhappy wif me
dun haf 2 play hide & seek
common we haf grownup
u shud noe which is wrong & ryt
stop being childish
it wont solve da fuckin damnz
...*problemz*...
if peepz find trouble wif me
i left it all to GOD...
************
listenin to:
98.7FM - ...hehx...
(got back my radio)
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
1:06 AM
so i cud sae it...
gimme more tyme
cuz u freak me out...
gimme a moment
to spend more tyme...
it was so damn fast
i can't even sae it
or even explain it...
we met & lost...
hope no1 knows dat
...*FINE*...
dun cal me...
if u dun wan to
stop keepin me waitin
waitin 4 da tyme...
juz god damn...
...nvm forget it den...
think i wil juz keepon...
...*wAiTiN*...
wadevo shitz i wan...
...*i wont get it*...
wadevo things i wan...
...*i cant haf it*...
wadevo stuffz i wan...
...*i lost it*...
im not a spoilt child
my parents doesn't spoilt me
...*since young*...
do they???...guess nope...
i h8 being spoilt...
my dad lykz to spoil me...
i h8 olwez being call...
...*lyk a baby*...
i've grownup...common...plz
...im turnin 20...
...*da big fuckin 2*...
...i h8 him...
olwez finds trouble wif me
...common plz...
dad i hope u understand me
...i wish i cud...
tellin u dat...
i love u too
but ur attitude makes me
...*hates you*...
im sorry dad if i evo...
...*call u namez*...
...im so sorry...
mom...
i cant imagine my life
...*w/o you*...
every nite i cried...
if i evo think of dat...
plz, dun evo leave me...
how bad or evol u r...
u still my mom...
ur tears makes me wana cry
haf faith wadevo has happened
i noe u hate dad...
but i noe u loves him too
stop cryin ova my sista
shes juz a bitch...
if i evo show attitude to u
...im so sorry...
promise i wont do again...
i love my brader more den my sis
he's da 2nd person 2 noe my result
after my mom...
i miss our childhood tymes
cuz we r very damn cloze...
ur galfren is cute...
...*lucky you*...
im proud 2 b ur sista...
...love you olwez...
i will study very hard...
sis,
i noe u love me...
alto i can't see dat
maybe u dun lyk 2 show...
i can sense dat...
but i understand ur wae...
...juz wana noe why...
since young,
u lyk to fight wif me
common, we've grownup now
i noe which is ryt & wrong
a simple reason...
for me 2 understand why...
if u evo read tiz...
sis, i love you...
i dun wana fight wif u anymore
can't we juz be lyk
others sistaz???...
im waitin 4 dat moment
wen it cumz...im gonna cry...
im weird...am I...???
************
listenin to:
look wad u haf done - jet
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:10 PM
i miss my room...
i miss my bed...
i miss my wardrobe...
i miss da environment
...*haiz*...
simply juz cant help it
haf 2 cope wif it...
haf 2 get used 2 it...
...*sobz*...
life goes on...
dae by dae...
itz juz lyk an...
...*ordinary dae*...
therez a gal...
...*an ordinary gal*...
she was lookin up da sky
it was damn beautiful
how she wish...
she cud fly...
to touch da sky...
but itz tooo high...
we live ony once...
therz no chance...
live life to da fullest
enjoy every great momentz
forget every sad tymez
...*but I can't*...
...itz hauntin me...
@ least i tried to forget
...but i can't...
dun force me...
i hate being forced...
...*i give up*...
i can't forget bout it...
dun leave me alone...
...i need sum1...
sum1 to hear my fear...
...to dry da tears...
i hate being alone...
my loneliness...
itz killin me...
...ok EMY...back 2 reality...
...*haiz*...
...if itz can b chosen...
i choose 2 b in my...
...*2nd world*...
i hate my reality...
i love my fantasy...
i wannabe fairuza balk...
i wannabe alecia moore...
i wannabe amy lee...
i wannabe shirley manson...
i wannabe marshal mathers...
im juz da wae I am...
...no choice...
...can't change...
************
listenin to:
listen 2 ur heart - DunoByWho
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:44 PM
u make a fool of every1...
...thinkin back...
on wadevo shitz dat haf done
...i am a fool...
olwez make a fool of myself
wen is da tyme dat im goin 2 change?
haiz...i dun noe...wen...
im gettin old...
retarded fuckin old...
still makin a fool...
hardly decide wen to growup
feel da same as dae by dae
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
...i wana change...i wana change...
...i wana change...i wana change...
...i wana change...i wana change...
...star light...star bright...
...first star...i see 2nite...
...wish i may...wish i might...
...make a wish...& i wish 2nite...
.
.
.
.
.
.
...i hope u can hear me...
...do you...???
...NO???...
...fine then...
...i get back to my sux life...
************
listenin to:
look wad u haf done - jet
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
10:18 PM
dunoe becuz of wad...
either itz...projekx DONE
or examz ony 2 paper...hehx
or BOTH...hehxz...
tmr laz dae...den itz examz...
left ony revision lecturez...
...damnz...feel so irritated
cuz skewl lab cant burn...
retarded *fool*...
once ITIPJ report submit den dats it
...we are *DONE*...
get lost u retarded *BITCH*
muahahar...(suppose 2 b evol laugh)
im badly *BROKE* sey...haiz
i stil cant believe it wen u sae
itz juz anoter perfect dae...
...dunoe why...
...dunoe how...
wat was meant for u...
itz juz simply nothin...
u dun haf to mention it...
cuz i hate to hear it...
neva wish it wud cum from u...
u dun haf to tell me everything
cuz i hate listen about it...
my heart breakz...damn hurtz...
...if i cry...
...dun ask why...
...help me dry da tears...
...dat i cry...
************
listenin to:
another perfect dae - american hi-fi
(...love da song...)
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
1:36 AM
dead sleepy tired sey
tiz morning juz finish
our bizcom 3 speech...
OMG...wadelse???
not gonna talk bout it...
didn't haf enuff sleep...
omg...keepon yawnin sey...
tmr is our ITIPJ prezentation
oh god...scared sey...
tiz wk i olwez worried...
dunoe worried bout wad oso...hehx...
ming gonna graduate liao...omg
dat means im gettin older...
examz juz around da corner
& thank god itz ony 2 paper...
ohkay...more tyme to study...
hehx...no more sleeplezz nitex...
juz lyk da past sem...OMG...
life is full of obstaclez...
pple cum & pple go...
who fucking carez...???
poly life has taught me lotz...
but im not gonna learnt from it...
...*freakin hell life*...
i noe therz sum beautiful momentz
but, how long will it b laz?
no1 noes...no1 notice...
pple juz jealous...
on wadevo fuckin u did...
juz fuckin leave me alone...
or u will regret it...
enuff fuckin findin trouble wif me
im gettin sick & tired of it...
love me...hate me...
only da lovez one understand me...
till we meet again...
happy valentines day...
dun break their lovely heartz...
************
listenin to:
...NONE...
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
5:01 PM
cuz some projekz quite done...
left ony 3 more prezentationz
...IB...Bizcom 3...ITIPJ...
oh shitz i hate bizcom 3...
haven think anythin 4 bizcom 3
haiz...wadelse???...speech...
omg im speechless....haiz...
hate havin stagefright...
i wil tend to speak fast &
...*shakin-hands*...
in need of more practicez...
ok 4get bout skool stuff...
gettin sick & tired...
of all nonsences at skewl...
i need my holidaes...*QUICK*...
i need rest...sleepz...chillz...
my life's totally *BORING*...
now i dun even noe...
wadz latest song on air...
haiz...laz tyme...yeah...
used to listen radio...NOW...
its between me, da laptop...
& few songs in it...
it haz been 2 monthz...
stayin wif my aunt...
olwez skip class...CUZ...
ovaslept & traffic jam...
...shitz...neva late b4 man!!!
need to noe da tyming...haiz...
damnz...i h8 my nitez...
it will b not lyk b4...
sleep wif 3 boyz...*OMG*...
i mean seperate bed yeah...
itz a sleeplezz nite...haiz...
almost everydae need to say tiz
..."pleaselah go sleeplah"...
..."i want to study"...haiz...
but itz...1 ear in...&...
1 ear out...dey continue talkin
perfect lovez...
drivez out all...
...
yeah i agree...
i love music...
it drivez out...
all of my fearz...
************
listenin to:
look wad haf u done - jet
(addicted song currently)
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
10:35 PM
has been bout 2 months
i didn't update...
lykwise...busy wif projekz
simply juz dun understand y...
i h8 her more & more...
da sight of her pukes me...
she thinkz...shez da best...
SO muthfuckar WAT...???
i haf learnt lotz of lesson
..."dun easily trust pple"...
..."dun be selfish"...&...
..."de 1 closez 2 u is ur enemy"...
can't she juz stop being lyk a shit?
juz dun wana talk bout her...
but shez lyk...
askin me to wacked her sia...
if i c her outside...
long tyme oredy sia kena wack!
fuckin act sia...kanina...
ok think juz drop de topic bout "her"
so now...left wif 1 more week...den
itz da exam week...den
itz da holidaes...YEAGH...
really mizz da twinz...
quite longtyme didn't hangout...
my kluzz is gettin weird & weird
i juz dun wana involve in anytyn
im sick & tired of it
can't dey juz fuckin cool?
wads da point quarellin around?
becum famous izit?
show off ar u *BIG*?
c'mon wadz da point?
itz uselezz...cuz u won't get it...
nx wk haf 3 presentations...
i h8 bizcom 3...
need to prezen individually
...oh shitz...
cuz im havin a stagefright...
haiz...omg...damnz...
im gettin tired man...
wana sleep...bye...
i wish upon a star...
out of da dark sky...
wish u were here...
listenin to my fear...
& i will lend u my ear...
if u feel da same fear...
u may b a gd listener...but
u may b a bad advicer...
i dun care...
juz wish u were here...
so i wont drop any tears...
where r u sia...???
im really in need of u...
i noe u got problem...
juz damn fuckin be here...
************
listenin to:
look wat u haf done - jet
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:31 PM
