every nite sleep @ 3 or 4
& wakeup @ 8 or 9...
tiz is my daily routine...
...aaaaaaargh...
HELLLO ITZ DA WEEK END!!!...
if ony u r my boifren...
im gona kiss & hug u...
wtf...if ony he's a malay...
...damnit...im stinks...
no1 lyks me...wth...
i duno how to say it...
fark..."i love u dude"...
omg did i juz type dat...???
hes makin me jealous...
hes playin wif my heart...
hes drivin me mad...
i noe he's juz using me...
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
4:05 AM
every1's gone...
went to lvl 5 lab...
he left me...
& im here all alone...
feel lyk cryin...
yah im crying...omg...
"im sorry...i haven start"
"u die..."
...yah i noe...
she let me die...
yah im farkin dying here...
no1 understand my situation...
i wud rather choose to die
den facing all tiz shits...
laz nite i told mum...
i juz can't keep any longer
"how??? da java test i really can't do"
"later exam how???"
"if study in skool...goin home late"
"tiz place is soo creepy...no1's around"
"i scared goin home late..."
"if study at home..."
"itz far too noisy..."
"sobz...sobz..."(i oredy start 2 cry)
my mum said...
"dun take it too hard..."
"later u stress..."
"i dun care u can do it onot"
"i dun care much of ur grades..."
"if u can't handle..."
"i dun really mind u drop skool"
"juz go find any werk & help da family"
"help paying ur dad's debts..."
i juz can't take it
& i went to da kidz room...
u c...it seems lyk my family
really farkin depend on ME...
dey oredy lost faith towards my sis...
& my bro...
he wana continue studying...
so wen my parent in their aged yrs
i wud b da 1 support dem...
i juz wana talk to him...
@ least i feel quite relieve...
after throwing all those shits...
but...he left...
leaving me alone at here...
my heart is screamin...
screamin in pain...
my brain is damage...
i can't think of anything...
omg y tiz farkin tears keepon dropin...
fark its full house...
i shud go 2 da toylert
...bye...
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
2:00 PM
WARNING!!! - long post...
java test was suxxx...
hope i can clear dat module...
went out wif da twinx...
quite sumtyme diden laugh lyk hell
dey juz makin my dae...
heart dem...
i was in da bus...
i juz can't thinkin bout it...
dey noticed u...
wen u r needed...
dey didn't noe u r around...
wen u suckz at it...
2 b a good leader,
nids cooperation from members...
dats wad im thinkin la...
i noe...im sucha big POOR farkin leader...
a simple farkin decision i can't even make
olwez wana cry...
sucha cry-baby...
yah so farkin wad?
as if u neva cry b4 lyk dat...
i juz can't help it u c...
i hate the wae it is...
cum on can sum1 @ pls
try 2 understand me here?
*help me*...i can't handle it myself
no doubt dat...
i admire esther(my classmate)...
she noes how to handle stuff...
advice & consult members...
wen dey havin problems...
supports & motivates us...
unlike me...
even a 5 yr old boi
cud make dat simple farkin decision...
i juz duno wad happen 2 me these few days
i juz hate every1 or everything around me.
full of hatred, envious, jealous...
yah wadevo farkin shitz...
she-olwez gets-da-farkin-attention
...*AGAIN*...
so-farkin-wad-as-if-i-care...
...*BITCH*...
i duno whether i cud stil kip
everything inside onot...
cuz i keepon swallowin everything...
my left stomach hurts...
i duno becoz of wad...
(angin gaknyer...haha...)
it has been 3 dayz...
yah wadevo...
i juz nid sum1 to talk to...
i can't face it myself...
im so damn farkin hurt...
real hurt til i cry so hard...
i wana go home(sembawang)...
but i can't...
i miss my room & my bed...
i nid da peace dat lost long ago
no1 evo cud understand me...
how i felt dat tyme...
wad i went thru dat tyme...
i nid to cry...
i can't control it anymore...
u juz wan oters 2 understand bout urself.
stop being selfish & arrogant...
i noe u r good & clever...
so-farkin-wad???...
& i noe im da stewpid big farkin loser
as-if-u-care...
************
listenin to:
my immortal - evanescence
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
8:55 PM
damnz farkin tired sey...
but i lyk da website...
hope dey lyk it la...
now left java to study...
ok freak...
tiz week gonabe freakin wk15
mondae - internet mktg presentation
tuesdae - show eaipj coding
wednesdae - java test
thursdae - supply chain presentation
fridae - eaipj coding(mobile)...
week end - i will b dead den...
also my sis cumin over...haiz...
PLUS....EXAMZ cumin...sobz...
wad freakin sem...
but i noe its gona over real soon...
i feel lyk im olwez being used...
oters olwez takes advantage towards me...
maybe im too kind & helpful...
& i felt pity on pple easily...
am i a betrayer?...
im afraid...dey got 2 know...
but i noe he won't...
...hurt me...
if he do...
i won't talk to him...anymore...
whenevo u nid help...
i olwez there to help...
whenevo i nid help...
r u there to help...?
my previous post...
i noe im kindof harsh...
cuz im breakin down...
i juz hate looking @ codings...
on dat moment...
can't help it la...
when u good @ sumtyn...
dey will cum 2 u...
when u stewpid @ sumtyn...
dey juz didn't notice u r around...
i juz hate olwez being used...
sumtymes i forgot how to *smile*
is this sweet enuff?
i guess im NOT...
************
listenin to:
breakaway - kelly clarkson
(thanks *ain kuching* 4 sendin me tiz song)
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:57 PM
yah lyk 1 big mutha fark...
im givin up...
i cant farkin stand it anymore...
feel lyk 1 farkin dump shit...
u noe wad?
i feel lyk 1 farkin retard...
big mutha farkin lozar..
havin a farkin loser of mind....
yapz...I FARKIN GIVE UP...
i dun care wad mutha fark is gona happen
i juz big farkin hate...IT...
feel lyk wana cry...HOW???
but theres lotsa pple around
i juz can't farkin control anymore
nvm i juz swallow everything up...
no1 juz seems to farkin understand
loser lyk me r suppose to be farkin DUMB
if i were to...nvm...4get it...
she's doin it again...
i hate it...
yah im jealous!!!!
so farkin wad?
but im not farkin act lyk 1 mutha fark lyk her
farkin arsehole...
juz lurve to shake ur mutha farkin boobs
around wif those farkin guys...
i hate it wen dey start giggling around
read da word u dumb arse...
...*FARK YOU*...
i swear i hate her...SHITZ...
wad wud u do wen sum1
backstab u from da back???
how u feel @ da moment
wen u noe sum1 backstab u???
tell me...
i swear i farkin hate her...
she-olwez-gets-attention...
so-farkin-wad-as-if-i-care...
************
listenin to:
stroke of luck - garbage
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:27 AM
head damn hurt...
can't think...
brain damaged...
runnin out of idea...
feel lyk wana sleep...
but theres lotsa stuffs
dat really farkin needs 2 do!
im really hate codingz...
im stewpid wen it cumz 2 codingz
sum1 please help me...
oh gosh i do really feel lyk
wana cry NOW...
yah ryt NOW...
where u??? i need YOU...
u r not around wen i in nid of u
feelin soooo SAD...
think itz better i go & cry now...
do really had much fun...
now shit starts 2 happen...
duno whether can handle it onot
juz hate IT...sucha coding-idiot...
thank god i had chosen da ryt path...
i love biz modules & clazz...
*hugs*(my-lect-notez)...
cuz biz lessons seemz enjoyable
& no stress really do attack me...
though da lectures r bored to death...
so farkin wad??? i juz dun feel any stress
wen theres biz projekz...
yah i heart esther & alvina...
loveyall loads...
i duno wad life gonabe w/o u 2
feel lyk wana make a shout...
any1 happened to read tiz...
*HELP ME IN CODINGZ 4 EAIPJ (3 tier)*...
im stuck @ datalist...
...aaaaaargh...sobz...
i noe no1 is listenin to me
she gets all da attention...
so farkin wad???
as if i care...
*************
listenin to:
New - no doubt
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
8:25 PM
had done wif Internet mktg webby
& well done 2 esther...
4 completing da report too...
so 1 projek down...
ony left memorizin & prezentin...
damnz...
went APB...
ok lar not bad...
lotsa photo-takin...
& really freak me out
wen dey all askin me 2 take pic
yah since im da ony brought digicam
& da fact dat no cameras allowed @ there.
it was OMG...
hahar...
while drinkers enjoyin demselves
me,bethia & cheryl...
enjoyin takin picz in da ladies...
hahar...though da lightin suxxx...
but i loite...lolx...
...*galBang*...
...*cheers*...
...*gettin high*...
...*1st shot, more 2 go*...
...*we slackin+posin, oters drinkin+playinDart*...
...*cutie+chubby*...
i dun drink btw...
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:48 PM
2 projex down...
4 more 2 go...
& 1 more cumin...
im tryin 2 start hatin him...
im tryin 2 4get bout him...
cuz i sense dat...
he's makin used of me...
i was lyk...FINE...
cuz im da big farkin loser...
all of da thingz happened seemz...
...*make-me-look-fool*...
i will be tryin very really HARD
yah...no doubt dat...
im *jealous*...yah...wadevo...
all eyes onto *it*
every1 talkin bout *it*
dey praise *it*
yah *it* is sooo farkin showinoff
*it* olwez seekin 4 attention
*it* olwez flirtin wif dem
*it* olwez shoot-me-ryt-onda-face
& i feel so pissed...
i hate *it*...
i noe u r GOOD...
& im da big farkin loser...
thanks sooo much wif all of ur
kindness, helpingz & laughin @ me
wen u r down,
every1 console u...
wen u cry,
every1 is there 4 u...
wen u r in trouble,
every1 helps u...
yah so farkin wad?
YUPZ i m so farkin *jealous*
cuz all eyes r onto *it*...
while im juz a nobody...
& thanks sooo much...
4 makin me look-lyk-a-fool too...
u said u r nobody...
u r good-4-nothin...
u r scared of doin it...
u dun haf da confidence...
u had big farkin problem...
& i m da 1 u lookin @
to listen 2 ur complaints &
to have sum advice...
who da fark u think i m?
i was lyk...hello???
u noe wad...i juz dun trust any1...
I've tried so hard
to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along...
my heart breaks into pieces...
it was sooo farkin pain...
i juz can't even swallow everything...
************
listenin to:
my immortal - evanescence
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:45 PM
simply tooo lazy to blog...
cuz my life is flood wif projex
yesterdae i cry...
i duno y...
da tears kept on rollin
too much anger...
too much sadness...
til i've got nothin 2 say
or how to say it...
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
12:47 AM
1...*nolezan*...
2...*noli*...
3...*emy*...
4...*ijan*...
4 things that scares you:
1...*darkness*...
2...*IT(codings)*...
3...*ghost*...
4...*presentation*...
4 of your everyday essentials:
1...*music*...
2...*money*...
3...*food*...
4...*handphone*...
4 things you are wearing right now:
1...*jeans*...
2...*pink tee*...
3...*green cardigan*...
4...*hair clip*...
4 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1...*garbage*...
2...*linkinpark*...
3...*simple plan*...
4...*greendae*...
4 favorite songs (at the moment):
1...*stroke of luck*...garbage
2...*give me novacaine*...greendae
3...*sorry*...madonna
4...*love u more*...eminem
4 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1...*jokingz*...
2...*sweet whispering*...
3...*crappin*...
4...*chillin*...
4 truths:
1...*missin sum1*...
2...*missin my room*...
3...*scared of my life*...
4...*i do tell lies*...
4 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
1...*joker*...
2...*caring*...
3...*coolness*...
4...*helpful*...
4 of your favorite hobbies:
1...*listen to music*...
2...*dreaming*...
3...*sleeping*...
4...*joking*...
4 things you want really badly:
1...*money*...
2...*happiness*...
3...*bf*...
4...*graduate*...
4 places you want to go on vacation:
1...*mecca*...
2...*paris*...
3...*london*...
4...*las vegas*...
4 things you want to do before you die:
1...*pray(mengucap)*...
2...*make my parents happy*...
3...*have my own family*...
4...*apologise 4 all my wrongdoings*...
4 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick:
1...*kiotness*...
2...*sexyness*...
3...*cheeky*...
4...*crappy*...
4 things you are thinking about now:
1...*projekz*...
2...*him*...
3...*sleeping*...
4...*my life*...
4 stores you shop at:(places can?)
1...*far east*...
2...*marina square*...
3...*bugis*...
4...*PS*...
4 people who should do this:
1...*nozie*...
2...*fiffy/dalilah*...
3...*teja*...
4...*sham*...
thanks chiobuxian...
heee...
i've DONE...
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
6:00 PM
In skool...
i laugh lyk hell...
Back home...
i laugh lyk nobody bizness...
In the bedroom...
i lie down & i cry...
BECOZ...
i lazy to takeoff da laptop...
i dun wana c codingz...
so i lie down & cry...
while listenin to garbage...
"stroke of luck"...&...
"MILK"...
repeatedly...
til 12am...
den...
in da end...
i online...
& chat wif my *fren*...
til 2am...hahar...
yah out of all...
we talk bout *farkin projekz*
so i was lyk...
yah im not de ony 1...
feelin so bad...
theres sum pple oso...
much more worst den me...
my *fren*...
feelin useless...&...
wana giveup...
so i was lyk...wtf...
cum on...life goes on &...
advice him instead...
u c...
i cud manage to console pple...
but me myself...
i cudn't even think of myself...
& do wadevo advice i juz tell
to my *fren*...
...haiz...
i laugh til i cry...
he put a smile on my face...
& he manage to make me laugh...
...again...
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
2:13 AM
currently havin...*PMS*
think itz da worst evo...
cuz i felt irritated everytyme
feel lyk wana cry...
dun ask y...
dun even try...
perioooooood....
projekz....
codingz....
ASSignment...
Case Study...
ICAs...
...*deadlines cumin*...
im goin krazyyyyy...
no IM ICA tmr...
i was lyk *WTF*...
& theres ISECA ICA oso...
damnz...
& i half wae studyin IM
& was postponed to nx wk...
now think gona start study ISECA...
farkz...
tell me wad i shud do?
tell me wad to do?
wen i break down & cry...
i feel sooo farkin bad...
i feel sooo farkin useless...
i hate codingz...
i noe nothing...
...*im missin sumbody*...
how i wish u were here...
watchin me cryin...
& console me...
yah i noe...
go *toylert*...lolz
i won't 4get wadevo happenz...
************
listenin to:
stroke of luck - garbage
ouh juz another babble,
MyssPg. \m/
11:50 PM
